sometimes i wonder if life'll be easier for me if i just
refrain from thinking too much.

everything i do, has to have a purpose, has to have a desired consequence,
has to be " perfect " so it wouldn't create trouble for me.

i strategise every single move.

so much so that
i forgot the fact that sometimes the wisest decision is made while
being irrational.

so much so that
i forgot that happiness isn't only gotten when you make the best decision,
happiness can befall when you learn from what you've decided on.



maybe he's right,
i don't dare to do it and i shouldn't impose my mindset on other people.


i'm fucking sick and tired of it.
sick and tired of being myself.