i've thought about things over and over and over again.

life is unpredictable, treasure every moment that you have.
if my rabbit dies, my house will be very very empty.
but my rabbit can't live forever, someday he'd die.
so i've gotta learn how to live with the emptiness.


what we want are entirely different.
i finally see the point.
i finally see the reason behind the closed doors.

what would you do if you can't get what you want?
do you blame?
do you hate?

if so, who do you blame? what do you hate?


well.
i won't do it.
not anymore.
from here on, everything takes on a new direction.



LMS tomorrow. major edits to our skit.


-EDIT-


I'm getting all stressed up because of LMS.
I can't even find the will to swear already -,-



Anyway I just remembered watching a video on
the earthquake in sze chuan.
Even till now, as I look at the pictures, I can feel that heavy and impounding sense of loss.
The whole atmosphere.. It's as though I'm there.

Then I remembered Ah Girl.

Death never felt this close before, not since Whitey died.

It's funny how a dog and a rabbit can incur so much pain and helplessness.
It's always us looking at our loved ones, being unable to do anything,
be it a dog or a rabbit.

That sense of loss..



-Ignore this paragraph-

Memories of spending lazy afternoons at the farm started to flood my mind
a few minutes ago.

Cookie and KeeKee were there when I first stepped into the farm.
Sure it's a dirty place with nothing except soil and vegetable, yet
it was one of my escapades from this bustling city.

I was really afraid of Cookie at first cause he tends to bark too much.
But as I went closer to him, things began to change.

The first significant change was probably him standing up, putting his
muddy paws on my thighs.
That was epic. My pants had his paws printed on them.
No matter what I did, he'd always look at me quietly.
Well I didn't realize that he barks lesser and lesser.
Eventually, he'd look at me with those eyes, waiting for me to stroke him.

KeeKee. He's probably 4 or 5 times bigger than Cookie, and yet he always lets
Cookie have his way. He seems more friendly at first, cause he doesn't like to bark.
But he does loves to sniff at awkward spots.
He was sometimes a cause of irritation as when we went fishing, he'd always jump
into the pond and scare the fishes away.
I was insensible, unable to realize that he just wanted to be with us.
It's not an everyday thing that we visit the farm, anyway.
Despite that, sometimes he'd quietly sit there while we fish.
Such an angel.

Other times, he'd lie on the floor and we'll stroke him with our legs.
He seems to like it though.
Sure he doesn't smell nice, however he's a great companion.
Always ready to take a walk with us.
He'd follow us anywhere, even if its places that he's afraid of.

I wonder why he's gone though.
Both of them suddenly went missing.

Then there's Ah Girl.
I don't have much memories of her as visits to the farm became increasingly
lesser due to hectic lifestyle.
Exams, bla bla bla.

She was a very quiet girl. She doesn't bite, nor bark for nothing.
Like KeeKee, she'd follow us around.


One common characteristic among these 3 would be they're really loyal to the farm.
Each time any strangers enter the farm, they'd bark and bark until YanHui's dad comes
and acknowledges the strangers.

It's funny how our childhood days were made interesting by them.