night will end and morning will come.
the race would end someday.
the fight would stop someday.
the rain would stop someday.
the heartache would stop someday.

for everything in this world, there'll be times when they have to end.

there are always times when you have to move on with life.
there are always times when you prefer to lead your old life,
however you can never go back to the past.

and therefore, my fantasy has ended.

POA on sat.
Pba on monday.
Maec on tues.

Preparation for exams ~

Lucky only got 3 modules tested, which means I got
more time to work on my PBA and memorise MAEC and POA
stuffs.
I wanna aim for 3.8.
Though I've been skipping lectures and stuffs..
I STILL HOPE SO CAUSE I BELIEVE IN MYSELF.
LOL.


i finally realized that what i've been searching for.
it isn't a chio/pretty/outstanding girlfriend.
what i'm really searching for..
is a girl whom i'll love with all i have.

i was strucked by what wilson asked me.

have i become the type of people that only goes for looks?

i know i'm not. definitely, i'm not.
but this brings another question.

then why am i so obsessed with you?

looking at the date, it seems like you've been on my mind for the past
1 and a half month.
time passes so fast...

I really need help in PBA.
Any PBA pros out there?
Mind giving me tuition for PBA?
^_^


and i really wonder where will this bring me to...
if only a chance is given.

i always look around my surroundings whenever i go out.
it's not that i'm trying to spot a chiobu.
i'm just trying to catch a glimpse of you in case you're somewhere near..

Hmm..

Gotta start getting you out of my mind and prepare for common test.
Gotta find something to shove you out for a while ~

And thus it marks the start of my mugging period.
^_^

遇见你，之后爱上你， 然后很痛心

I'm still having trouble learning how to play 晴天 -.-



如果你眼神能够为我
片刻的降临

如果你能听到
心碎的声音

沉默的守护着你
沉默的等奇迹
沉默的让自己像是空气

大家都吃着聊着笑着
今晚多开心

最角落里的我
笑得多合群

盘底的洋葱像我
永远是调味品

偷偷的看着你
偷偷的隐藏着自己

如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会发现你会讶异

你是我最压抑
最深处的秘密

如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸你会流泪

只要你能听到我
看到我的全心全意

听你说你和你的他们
暧昧的空气

我和我的绝望
装得很风趣

我就样一颗洋葱
永远是配角戏

多希望能与你有一秒
专属的剧情

woke up at 6am.
insomnia.

oh great.

many a times,

i find myself waiting for nothing.
like an idiot.

as usual. can't do anything. except wondering and waiting.

if one day things were to revert back to how it was for everyone around me except
for me, what would i do?

if there is a time machine, would everyone hop on it without second thoughts?
what would happen to the present?
what would happen to the people around them?

and i begin to ponder...



i'm trying to learn 晴天 on guitar.
apparently.. not doing well.
tried for over an hour.
NEED KEN'S HELP !!!

Had a sudden thought this morning.

Hmm, that thought seems like the only solution
to the situation now...

Today I realized that there are mainly 2 reasons why people
get agitated when discussing about something,
1) they don't know what they're talking.
2) they've been through it.

Or maybe the 3rd reason is...
they think they win by getting agitated. lol.

心酸和心碎
哪个比较痛？

My life ,
一直在等待

空荡的口袋
想在里面放一份爱

Why ,
总是被打败
真的好无奈

it's a wonder how love can make one feel blissful... and torn when the weather changes.

sometimes i'm sick of the questions people ask.
i can't explain myself, neither can i convince them of my stand.
however, at the end of the day it doesn't really matter.

these people will never understand what it's like to be tongue tied every single time,
to have your heart racing, to be sad cause she's sad, to be relieved that she's fine, to be thinking of her day and night and the pure happiness felt just by
watching her from far..

I don't know what's more difficult, standing behind her knowing that you can
never open the door in her heart or beside her knowing that you can't have her.

i've once said that it's impossible to explain feelings in words.
feelings are meant to be felt, not said.




Right.
I know I've been posting about " emo " stuffs for the last few days.
Define emo.
What I really think is... I don't find the point in blogging about my daily life.
My blog is probably a place for me to scribble my thoughts on.

" It's a wonder how much I'm missing you while you're probably missing
somebody else. "

Anyone knows how to insert meaning into life?
Cause my life has no meaning.

I'm just a kid.
Throwing tantrums.
Screwing everything that's in my way.
Just.
Because.
I.
Can't.
Get.
What.
I.
Want.

And the best thing?
I can't do anything about it.

How could this happen to me?
lol.
Every night.
Is the worst night ever.


Actually I think I forced my left arm too hard.
Reached to the point whereby my left arm cannot even
lift a 0.5kg dumbbell just now.
Now my arm doesn't feel like it's there.

Actually I think I forced my chest too hard.
Went for a jog and my chest seems to be in constant sharp pain.
Nearly couldn't breathe.

Who.
Really.
Cares.
lol.

" Here we are again, circles never end.
How do I find the perfect fit?
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line "

lyrics from a certain song that I happened to chance upon after
years of ignoring the existence of my songs folder. lol.
Guess the song?

" There are many things in life that catch your eyes.
However, pursue what catches your heart instead. "

Gonna stop blogging for a while.
Nothing much to blog.

Might continue when I get my new skin.. O.O.

" Always tell someone that you love them because you never know what day
will be their last, or your own. "

" Always seek to resolve your problems or disagreements with loved ones
because if either of you should pass on before, the one who is left alive will have the rest of their life to ponder those unresolved feelings but will never find closure.
And closure usually brings peace... "

Sometimes, unresolved feelings are meant to be unresolved.
I don't know what to say, I don't know what you wanna hear.
I don't know how to say the things that you want to hear.
I hate the way things are now.


Words have no meaning except for the meaning assigned to them by the speaker.
But then again, it also depends on who said it.
Different people's words carry different weight.
Some may brighten your day while some may just irritate you.
I hope my words can brighten your day.. Although I know it's impossible.

Gym tomorrow ~!

I failed today again. As usual...
WHEN CAN I BE GOOD IN WORDS?

Broke my momentum.
You're the poison that I'm addicted to.

I can't stop thinking of you.
Whenever I try, life would seem meaningless.
It's easier to accept the fact that we're impossible
than to stop thinking of you.

OOOOOOOOooooooooooK BYE

Now I have my directions set.
Gotta move towards my direction.

Study, gym, jog and excel ~

My aim is to lose weight by the end of this year !


My group is 90% done for DSS.
Something to celebrate for !

Had a dream that I can barely remember 2 nights ago.
But I only remember one person that I see in the dream.
Lol !

Had a hard time trying to fall asleep last night.
It's like... You're beginning to lose conscious and then your
subconscious mind takes over.
Then your subconscious mind begins to fill itself with many many thoughts,
to the extent that you cannot fall asleep.
I opened my eyes in intervals of 10minutes.
That dragged on till 12.30 or so.
I slept at 11.20...
So yeah, all the messy thoughts were there for an hour or so.

And the weirdest thing is when you open your eyes, you kind of forget
what you've just thought about.
It's kind of like falling asleep on during bus rides, your mind starts to drift
away, be it the music or your emotions pulling your consciousness along.
Then when the bus jerks, and you wake up, startled.
Then you wouldn't really remember what your thoughts were.
That happened to me all the time.
O.O


Funny how you can turn my day around.
Everyday seems like the worst day ever.
But, with a touch of your grace, it turns into the best
day ever.
=)
I'm sad when you are, but you wouldn't know.
To me, you're the most beautiful girl, ever.



OOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooK bye

So I went to bugis to get shorts.
Got 2, one black one white.
Kind of regret getting the white one cause it doesn't
really suits me..
BUT the good thing is my mum wants the white one -.-

So I guess I needa go back and get one or two more shorts.
Kind of sian with the bermudas I have now ..!

_!_ers should all get a white top and black shorts...
Then can wear and go out together.
Lol.
Cool right.
HAHA.

WEEKENDS ENDED...
So sian.
Back to school.
LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEXT WEEKEND CAUSE THERE'S
A FUCK BROS DINNER .................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND...
Nothing.
=D


My candy ~~!
Sigh..
when you own something, it's temporary.
when you lose it, it's forever.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooK BYE

HOHOHO.

Went for dinner with parents at bukit panjang market.

Going to bugis tomorrow to get shorts !~!
Must get...
At least 2.
2 ......!

Nothing interesting to blog about.

Looking forward to my new blogskin !
HAHA !
*glances at auntie*





between this world and you
i'd choose you

my conversations with friends are always about you.
i wonder why.


this sour feeling.. go away ~
it feels like my heart is contracting.
squeezing every bit of life out of it.
contracting and contracting..
till the extent that..
it becomes a tiny heart made of glass.
so fragile, and breakable.
and that it'd break even without anyone touching it.



OOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooK BYE

BORING.

WEEKENDS !!

I feel like a small kid. Lol.
Easily contented.
But I guess that's a good thing.. right?
=)


OOOOOOOOOooooooooooooK BYE




连你都会残忍隔绝 我的心能要谁了解
眼中烛光摇晃着熄灭 为何把我推向边缘
被砸坏了的一切 卡住了让我无法往前
囚禁在距离笑声最远的房间
单独隔离寂寞地盘旋

全世界都停了电全世界都封了街
我所有窗子外面被贴上黑夜
我呐喊思念却没人听见
绝望到极点剩的是疲倦
全世界都停了电全世界白雪满天
才发觉在我心间有回忆碎片
一作梦翻身就刺痛流血
我卷着身体缩成一个圈
像一个句点

Boring.

CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT I DID TODAY.

Jialat already.
LOL.

All I remember is I played basketball at bukit panjang there.
Damn full now...

WEEKENDS COMING !!!
But...


Definition of a goal : something that's attainable when you work hard
Definition of a dream : something that you think for fun, knowing that you can't
fulfill it.

Bottomline : She's my dream.

i wouldn't be surprised even if you have no idea whom i'm talking about.
you don't even realize it's you.
but it's fine, you don't have to know.
(:

OOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooK BYE

Hero/Heroin - Boys Like Girls

It's too late baby, there's no turning around
I've got my hands in my pocket and my head in a cloud
This is how I do
When I think about you
I never thought that you could break me apart
I keep a sinister smile in a hole in my heart
You want to get inside
Then you need to get in line
But not this time

Cause you caught me off guard
Now I'm running and screaming

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine

I won't try to philosophize
I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes
This is how I feel
And its so so real
I got a closet filled up to the brim
With the ghosts of my past and the skeletons
And I don't know why
You'd even try
But I won't lie

You caught me off guard
Now I'm running and screaming

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine
Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

And I feel a weakness coming on
Never felt so good to be so wrong
Had my heart all locked down
And then you turned me around
I'm feeling like a new born child
Every time I get a chance to see you smile
It's not complicated
I was so jaded

And you caught me off guard
Now I'm running and screaming

I feel like a hero and you are my heroine
Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

And I feel a weakness coming on
Never felt so good to be so wrong
Had my heart all locked down
And then you turned me around
I'm feeling like a new born child
Every time I get a chance to see you smile
It's not complicated
I was so jaded



Pretty much spent my day in school ripping songs. HAHA.

Then went for dinner with pohling, joeson, jourdan, sebastian and wilson.

Then we went to look for the MAMBO POOL !
HAHA.

End up also never play.

Then went to play L4D and CS.

HOME AFTER THAT !

Freaking tired.
Hope tomorrow is a good day !


I fell in love in order not to fall in love.
It's good enough to be able to see you from here.
(:


OOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooK BYE

o.O

Had BMGT for the whole of today.


Fucking pissed with my laptop's speaker.
KEEP JAMMING.
WTF?

Cb. Find one day must call Fujitsu already.
ZZZ.

I've been sitting infront of my laptop for the past 2hours.
And 5 minutes ago I asked myself what was I doing here...
And guess what, I don't know how to answer my own question.
-_-






.........

Don't know how many million years don't have this feeling already.
LOL..........................................


I.... I........ I....... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SERIOUSLY IF I SHAKE MY HEAD ONCE EACH TIME I SIGH,
MY HEAD'S GONNA DROP SOON.......!
TIME TO EMO !!

oooooooooooooooooOooooOOOOOOOk BYE

BORING.

When lectures suck and nothing is going the way it should...

The best thing to do is to go facebook..
and look at pictures of... ^_^


O.O O.O

School starts at 11 tomorrow.
HENG AH.
Can sleep .
HAHAHA.

It's pretty boring...
Wanted to dota with TT21 today...
But gotta do DSS.
DSS SMD.
zZz


the simplest form of love is to be able to
look at her and smile from afar, even though you know that
there's an ocean between you and her...
it is when you feel happy whenever you see her smile, even
when the smile's not to you...
it is when nothing matters more than her smile to you...
it is when you feel the bitter taste in your mouth when you see her with
another guy but you wouldn't mind because it's fine so long as she's happy...
it is when you know you can't give her what she wants, yet you'll try to give her
everything you can...
i'm relieving this experience... all over again (:



OOOOOOOOOoooooooooooK BYE

WOO.
Nearly need to emo.

Out with wilson today.

Went to bugis.
Went to bukit timah to eat.
WENT HOME ~!


Can we get a little closer?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooK BYE

Bored.

I keep eating and eating these few days.
WTF.
Puberty ar.
LOL.

Damn freaking sian.
I WANT A GUITAR.

O.O I cut my fringe today.
Lolz.
Now it barely hits my eye.
^_^

When the stylist was cutting my hair, I was wondering if it's a good
choice. But I think it's not bad lah.

Back to how I looked like after O's, with the exception of sideburns and the
behind part which I don't know call what.
LOL.
My english is seriously rubbish.
Even the above statement doesn't make sense.
SPEAK PROPER ENGLISH !!!


OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooK BYE

听风咻咻咻嘲笑我的爱

就像感情的备胎只在旁边喝采

你别问
why why why我一直都在

你有很好的未来再痛我也说all right

当风咻咻咻送走我的爱

街边路灯一整排低着头为谁(无奈)默哀

是天在
cry cry cry我的笑还在




OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooK BYE

Bored.


So there's DSS, POA and PBA today.
Of all the topics, I think PBA and BMGT okok nia.
The rest all cmi.
Fuck.


Hmm. So I went to slack with jingyi, sue and cherry after school
while most of my (male) classmates went to play dota at our space.

Slack until around 4 then decided to go canteen 2 to eat.

Jan is seriously retarded.
HAHA.
Like that also cannot tell.
Retarded like shit la.
^_^

Then I went home after eating chicken rice ~

Went home and slept.

The funny thing is, wilson called me to dota.
But my kuku phone never receive the call.
It's something like no reception.
Then a while later, I received the SMS notification that
he tried to call me.
That's what woke me up =.=


That's all.


so far away


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooK BYE

Yawnz.

LMS today.
Gotta love wednesdays, the only non-stressful day.
Still can watch movie ^_^

Went through POA notes.
Seriously, crap lar.
I don't know how to do the questions in MEL.

And the thing is those questions are based on what we've learned
in the first lecture.
But I only know how to do 2 out of 10.

GG.

-.-

I feel like gyming all of a sudden.
It's weird why I hate jogging -_-



will you see me one day?

OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooK BYE

............................

So TT21( minus 1 ) pon lecture and went to play
pool at bukit timah plaza.
WOO.

Lol. Quite cheap sia.
TT21(minus 1) had lunch at KAP Mac before headed to plaza for pool.

That's pretty much it.
-.-


Take a look, no one's there... Anymore.


oooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOk BYE

Studies VS exciting life.

How can anyone forget the sweetness after
they've tasted it?

So it's out of the question.

Sad.

So.. Had DSS and MAEC today.
Felt a bit better, I listened for 3/4 of MAEC lecture before
hopping over to Facebook.
LOL.

DSS is really sianz.
Click here click there.
Damn.


BMGT for the whole of tomorrow.
Tired ~


I rarely have a target.
But this time my target is 3.8 for GPA.
I don't know if I can do it.
No, wait.
Correction.
I definitely can do it.
But how can I go about motivating myself to do it?
o.O



OOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooK BYE

WOOO.

Went to gym today with dave and kaya.
I finally know how does it feel like when you
do until you really cannot, until your hands tremble
while holding the weight.
Shiok feeling. Gonna chiong more !

I feel so high now. LOL.
I feel like doing 10000000000 times push up.

Then we headed for tampiness mall.

Finally got my new shoes today !!

Been saying about it since forever.
My new Everlast shoes ~~

Hmm, should I get pink shoelace?
LOL. I think it goes well with white.

School tomorrow, not sure of the lessons yet.
But anyway, I have a really long day tomorrow.
Gotta do DSS project.
Hope to chiong as much as we can tomorrow.
Then we don't have to meet up often to do the
thing.
Seriously, I have no idea how to do the project...
NEVERMIND. I still have 4 of them. LOL.

Gotta start revising already !~!


Alright ~!



why can't i be as lucky as other people?
lucky enough to get her attention...

OOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooK BYE

WENT TO SCHOOL TODAY !!!
For NP strings.
HAHA.

Okay, so I have trainings on friday........
Sadded.
NEVERMIND.

GUITAR !!!
BLUFF GIRLS !!! (xD)


OOOOOOOOOOoooooooooK BYE






At some point in life, we gotta let go of what we've
been holding on.
Simply because that's the only way to move on in life.

Holding on is hard, letting go is harder.

And the worst thing is no one can get used to letting go.
It's not a skill to be mastered, nor a knowledge to be learned.

It's all about forcing yourself to accept something that you don't want to.
It's all about the helplessness that you feel deep inside you that nobody
else would understand.
It's all about seeing the world moving on, and yourself being stucked in this
dimension of pain.
It's all about trying to change yourself so that you can return to the past.
It's all about feeling the loneliness even when you're in a crowd.
It's all about finding different ways to numb yourself, knowing that it won't work.
It's all about being unable to smile, knowing that bitterness will soon take over.

No matter how hard you're laughing, deep inside you're heart's still bleeding.
And one day, you'll finally try to stop the bleeding.



fuck shit wilson :

we all know how it feels like. we may be there, but you'll still feel that you're
alone. it's inevitable everyone will go through this at some point in life.
what we gotta say is, take your time and decide whether you wanna move on.
it's all in the mind.

.....

o.O.

GIRLFRIENDS(-.-) outing today.
Dinner + Pool.
Next time must plan hao hao then go.
LOL.
Psps.
Next time will plan better.
=D

Pool was crazy.
LOL.
Play like siao ginnas.
AND MONKEY..
LOL.
Nevermind, secret.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
*glances at somewhere*

OK lar.
Tomorrow is NP strings' first meeting.
WOOHOO.
Hope I can learn how to play the guitar asap...
Then go bluff girls.
=D


OOOOOOOOoooooooK BYE